On Compliments

28 Apr

If you are around me for any length of time, you know that I usually blush and divert conversation when someone gives me a compliment.

People tell me Paige is beautiful (I completely agree!), but then say that she looks just like me. Which then implies that they believe I’m beautiful. If it’s not implied, they straight out tell me. I usually just say “thank you” or make some joke about how I don’t know how she turned out as pretty as she did, coming from me. But in all honesty, I just don’t see it.

Maybe it’s stemming from years of hearing how pretty my other friends were and how I was always the “fat friend” of a group. Maybe it’s because of all the times I’ve heard that I need to style my hair a certain way, wear different make-up, lose more weight, cover up my vitiligo.

But I’m not perfect, I’ll never be what society determines is skinny, and I’m trying to see what others see. Not the skewed image in the mirror.I’m constantly working to be happy with myself, to not beat myself up for mistakes of my past, to not listen to those that have told me how ugly I am. After all, someone out there thinks I’m beautiful.

To those that have complimented me and I’ve ignored/balked at their compliments, thank you. I may turn bright red, but I’m trying. I still don’t think I see what you see, but again, I’m trying.

So go ahead, compliment me. I can take it :-).

~Kelley

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