A first of many firsts

9 May

Tomorrow (today?) marks a first for us. You see, Dave has been giddier than a little school girl over the fact that a Star Trek movie is coming out (okay, so it’s out already, bear with me!), so we’ve got passes to see it with 2 other couples in Columbus at an IMAX theater. We are seriously lacking in baby-sitters, but luckily, Columbus has the most possibilities for us. So my best friend is going to be baby-sitting for us.

This will be the first time a non-family member has ever watched Paige. Yes, the child is now over 8 month old, but we just moved to Cincinnati last May and I just haven’t found anyone I’d feel comfortable leaving her with (Cincy mommas have any leads for sitters? I have one, but she books up way in advance…).

So I’m a little nervous. Not the Sarah will be a bad sitter or that something will happen to Paige, but that Paige will scream bloody murder for the 3 to4 hours we’re gone. It takes a very strong woman to stand this child’s screaming. And then, we’ll be out a sitter. Which limits us even more and means we will really be unable to go out unless we can get family to drag their butts over here.

I’ve got the bazillion toys and 4 outfits ready and am planning on feeding her before we leave. It just scares me more because I know that she’s going through a needy-separation anxiety ridden phase. I leave the room to pee and she goes into full on “OHMYGODDONTEVERLEAVEMEYOURENEVERCOMINGBACK” mode.

But it has to happen. I can’t let myself be attached to the child the rest of her life (WHY NOT?!). I’m sure Dave would have a fit dragging her on dates – especially when we’re ready to try for #2.

My parents are pushing (in a good way) for us to leave Paige with them next summer so Dave and I can “make them another grandbaby” and I just about panic over the thought of leaving my baby for a week or more. But it has to be done at some point, right?

One day, I’m going to look back at this and think about how dumb I was to not take all the time I can to myself. But right now? I’m not ready. I’m going to somehow have to get ready in the next 16 hours…at least ready enough to moderately enjoy a movie. Maybe if we get past that, we can start thinking over-night. But I’m so not ready for anything else.

It’s a first…the first of many more to come.

~K~

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One Response to “A first of many firsts”

  1. Kathi May 12, 2009 at 12:59 am #

    I dont blame you,It took forever before steve and I could go out on the town with out worry warting ourselves crazy about the kids.as for an over night away lol that didnt happen until my youngest was 17..Gawd were we babies or what? p.s. how was the movie? Im dieing to go!

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