an explanation

2 Nov

I won’t be around much in the next few days (or weeks), kind of like I haven’t been around much anyway. But there’s good reason.

Why I HAVEN’T been around: we went to see my aunt and cousin in Wisconsin. While they have finally gotten out of the dark ages and have high speed internet, I didn’t get the writing bug.

Why I won’t be around:

Just found out in the wee hours of the morning (think 1:30 am and then didn’t sleep) that my brother got his under-age, 17-year-old (yes, I know that’s redundant) girlfriend pregnant. Not only that, but he’s making some majorly poor choices (like threatening a guy with his gun and dropping out of college). And because he’s a major jerk and refusing to own up, I had to be the one to tell my parents and my grandparents. Some might say I didn’t HAVE to, but I really didn’t want him to wait so long that he just suddenly shows up with a child he claims is his.

That’s family crisis #1

The other shitty ass news is that Dave’s grandfather was given a day or two to live earlier today. Pancreatic cancer, topped with a blood clot in his foot that has killed all the tissue and is moving up his leg. I wouldn’t be surprised if the call from his mother earlier on the house line was the one to tell him his grandfather is dead. These are the grandparents that I honestly don’t like and who have treated me like shit…HOWEVER, I hate to see Dave hurting and am attempting to put aside all of my feelings at the moment.

Hello family crisis #2

When I say I’m exhausted, this is why. I’m emotionally dead at the moment and have with-drawn from most, so if I ignore you, don’t take it personally.


I’m just….done. And waiting for crisis #3 to follow because all bad things happen in 3’s.

So anyway…this is why I’m going to not be around much. I will get back soon, I don’t want to let this blog go. But I wouldn’t check back until after the weekend at least. Just FYI.



One Response to “an explanation”

  1. Kelsey November 3, 2009 at 6:07 pm #

    I recommend you suggest to Zach that he take some parenting classes. They’re vital. He’s going to be taking care of TWO children financially, his girlfriend and his child. If that sounds mean and judgmental, I’m sorry- it’s really hard to word things online. What I’m trying to say (again, this may come across in a different manner than I’d like it to, bear with me…) is that he’s the ONLY adult in the situation, and somebody has to take responsibility. It’s not your parents’ job. It’s not her parents’ job. It’s her job and, more so in the eyes of the law, his job because he’s an adult. They should take a class together on pregnancy/labor/delivery, and they definitely need to take one together on newborn/infant care. Another one for him would be a young/single father’s support group or a class that guides him on how to support a hormonal pregnant woman, and how to be a good father. Zach is a nice person- he has some growing up to do, but he is a GOOD person, and that counts for a lot. Maturity will come in time, but don’t for a minute let him think that having a baby makes a person mature. It does if they’re prepared and willing- but the average dad? I’d say they don’t really “get it” for a while.

    He needs to know that the time for growing up was YESTERDAY, not several months from now when the baby comes. No more gun-waving, no more partying and immaturity. It is now no longer about him, and he needs to know that. Can you do convince him? No, I don’t think so. You can suggest things, and scream at him and threaten him, but that kind of revelation comes from within…
    On a lighter note, Missus, Congratulations on your niece or nephew. They’re wonderful. You get to have all the joys of parenting, without any of the responsibility. I hope you’ll get to be a part of her life. I terribly miss Scott’s sister’s daughter. I’m not really ‘allowed’ to see her anymore because I’m technically not her aunt. I love her to death, and miss her furiously, but my presence is off-putting to the family.

    I just read your facebook update about Dave’s Grandfather. I’m so sorry for Dave (and it must be hard to see him hurt and feel conflicted). It’s terrible when things come on so suddenly.

    This too shall pass. In time, God gives us the tools we need to deal with ALL of life’s struggles. We may not be able to see that light at the end of the tunnel, but the knowledge that it is there, lurking around the corner, often provides some comfort. Take it one step at a time. Zach can’t do anything right now but get a stable job and start being a father and provider. He can’t undo it, he can only do his best. 🙂

    You! Go take a nice long bubble bath, with a big glass of wine, and then go to bed! Love you!

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