too smart?

7 Dec

Apparently, I have read too much and discussed too much with my daughter’s pediatricians. It kills me to hear/see/witness certain things that go on in a child’s life. I REALLY try not to judge how other people parent, because I HATE being judged or told how to do things, but these are my parenting pet-peeves. Please try to not take offense…seriously!

(PS…I am FAR from perfect and some one probably thinks I’m doing things wrong…feel free to gripe about me on your blog! :-P)

1) I really don’t care if you formula feed or breast feed, but when it comes to cereal…WAIT. Unless there is a SERIOUS medical need, no child needs any solids before 4 months. They really don’t need anything for at least 6 months, but sometimes doctors will tell you to start them early for things like acid reflux or low weight gain. I know people that have started the child at 3 months (or even earlier) and that’s just crazy. Mostly, because they think it will help the baby to sleep longer at night. Guess what? Solids are processed in the same length of time as formula/breast milk. If a child hasn’t lost the tongue thrusting reflex, they are not ready for solids. Am I a medical professional? HELL NO. Which is why you should go by what your doctor says, but make sure your doctor is up to date (I know a doctor who told a mother to turn her child’s car seat around at 8 months even though it was against the law).

2)Turning car seats too early. This actually just changed for me. I originally thought there was absolutely no harm in turning your child right at a year and 20 pounds, but now that I know the truth, I want to educate people. It it SO MUCH more dangerous for your child to front-face than you think. Look up internal decapitation. This is what changed me. I’m not one of those people to go out advocating (maybe I should!), but try to keep your child rear-facing as long as possible. Most car seats anymore will rear-face up to 35 pounds. Don’t worry about a child’s legs crossing, it’s actually safe and children don’t get uncomfortable like we adults do. There also haven’t been any incidences of their hips being hurt when in a crash, which was one reason I hesitated. But even then, I would rather something be wrong with their legs than to have their spinal cord snapped. And after being rear-ended and feeling the pain from whiplash as a full-grown adult, I can’t imagine a young child who’s head is about 30% of their body weight going through that.

3)Not disciplining. Now…there’s a HUGE difference in how people do things. I’m not one to beat my child, I don’t yell at her, but I’m one of the strictest parents I know. I can’t stand a child that won’t listen to you. A real-life encounter just a few weeks ago left me feeling even more validated in how I’m raising Paige because neither parent could control this child and just repeatedly used “friend” language to reason with their 4 year old. I’m all about using “no thank you” and giving options, but kids need to understand that no means no and when mommy says to stop, that means to stop. (I totally just read your post Kelsey and I swear to GOD this is not about your post! Believe me, Spencer’s not even to the age where I would care about this!) After working at the daycare and dealing with children who’s parents treated them like friends and just laughed, I realize this is a much more serious problem than I think we realize. Maybe they didn’t know how to deal with the child, but seriously? Child should not be running out in the middle of the road while you just laugh at them. That’s totally NOT. COOL Plus, we are meant to be parents and not friends to our kids. Yes, we can be friends, but you’ve to do the parenting thing first. Otherwise, how is your child supposed to know boundaries and how to treat people properly?

4)Not enforcing naps/bedtimes. Now, I get that some children need less sleep than others and some have medical conditions where sleep is nearly impossible (autism speaks to me). But a normal child should be napping at least once a day. Again, I know someone who’s children are desperately in need of naps and a steady bedtime, but she waits until the child is about passing out before she puts them down. Once again, going to preface this by saying (in all caps as well) I AM NOT PERFECT, but I need time both for myself and couple’s time with my husband, so we have set bedtimes. Paige goes down for a nap at 1:30 and is down until AT LEAST 3 (even if she’s just playing). She then goes to bed around 9 (sometimes Daddy will keep her up until 9:30, but not often). Keep in mind, child doesn’t get up until 9/9:30 either, so she’s getting a full 12 hours at night and then another 1+ hours during the day. It’s the consistency though. She knows that it’s bedtime. She knows that when I say she has 10 minutes until bedtime, she has 10 minutes and then she’s going (no, she doesn’t have a concept of time, but I like to give a warning so I don’t just scoop her up from playing).

5) Baby-ing their child. Your child is learning how to walk and falls. Are you going to rush in and cuddle him right away or are you going to let them learn? I have a tough child and have actually gotten after my mom for baby-ing Paige. I don’t want a child who’s afraid to do something or is constantly needing cuddles because they bonked their head. There are times when Paige falls and needs a mommy cuddle. But 2 minutes later, she’s running again. I watch her fall sometimes and if she sees me looking, the face might crumble, but if I quickly hide my eyes or yell “bonk!”, she laughs and goes on her way. Maybe she’s just strange (okay, that’s almost a given considering her parents), but children are tough. It’s time to not treat them like china and more like the bull, okay? 😛

Okay, I have more I can write about, but Paige is awake and I need to play with my girlie a little.

What are your parenting gripes? What do you wish others knew?

🙂

~k~

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